


Kissing Strangers

by TheHomieRobbStark



Series: Kissing Strangers [1]
Category: Black Panther (2018)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24031855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHomieRobbStark/pseuds/TheHomieRobbStark
Summary: When it comes to love, you're not so trusting. But when someone comes along who starts tugging at your heart,  you try and decide if its worth giving a try and letting down your walls.
Series: Kissing Strangers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733602
Kudos: 2





	1. Shame [Prelude]

As the car rolls to a stop against the curb, you can hear the gears shift into park, the engine shutting off with a soft *click*. You pull your eyes from the window, turning from the dark outside world to face the person you'd spent all evening with.

After dinner, your friend Rashad had dropped you off with his friend Erik as his house, him offering to drive you back to your place since you lived close and Rashad didn't.

You both had shared a pretty fun night, especially considering it was your first time meeting him, so you didn't see the harm in having him drive you a few blocks to your place. Worse case scenario, if he turned out to be a psycho, you would just have to duck and roll out of the car and walk yourself the rest of the way home.

Everything was going fine until the moment he'd helped you up into his tall '95 Ford Bronco, and his hands latched onto your waist to securely hold onto you until you were seated. He'd even gone as far as buckling you in, too, muttering something about the seatbelt being 'tricky on this side' as he pulled the strap across your chest.

You would have paid more attention to what he was saying except your eyes were locked onto the gold chain that hung from around his neck, and the small muscles resting atop his shoulders that you could see peeking through the neck hole of his shirt, distracting you a little.

Your mind only came back to you after you heard the seatbelt click into place, and when he pulled back to give you one last once over, his eyes hovered on your lips for a second too long, and you swore you could hear a tiny little groan escape his mouth as he licked his lips.

After that, you'd completely clammed up, not saying anything, and the both of you drove to your house in complete silence. All you could think about on the way back was how you'd acted that night with him and the things you'd said, your mind playing a constant loop of the memories over and over again in your head.

Did you... miss something?

Surprised wouldn't exactly be the right word to describe how you were feeling (you were hot, he was... foinee... it made sense).

Shocked would have probably better encompassed your response, though, because you truly didn't see that coming. Especially not from someone like him.

You'd never been so blatantly hit on before, so you really weren't sure what to do in this situation.

Like every other girl, you'd unfortunately experienced the gross catcalling or lame ass pickup lines weird ass dudes tried to spit at you, but not much past that.So for Erik to be so forward with what he clearly was feeling for you... you weren't prepared for that.

Clearing your throat, you start.

"Erik-"

"Y/N-"

You both speak at the same time, words overlapping each others.

"Sorry," he weakly chuckles, clearing his throat. "You first."

He unbuckles his seatbelt, shifting his body towards you and giving you his undivided attention. His brown eyes look so warm and comforting, and the way he's looking at you makes your insides do somersaults.

Nah, you can't do this.

"Erik I don't think we should-"

"Go out on a date with me." Instead of overlapping this time, his words cut yours off, and your mouth hangs open from your unfinished sentence.

Your stuck, brain trying to digest the words you just heard.

He closes his eyes, a slow smile spreading on his face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you again but I got nervous." He sheepishly admits, dimples creasing at the corners of his cheeks.

You still don't say anything yet, and his eyes drift off somewhere as your words finally register in his ears, and his brows furrow together.

"Wait... you don't think we should what, Y/N?"

There's a mixture of confusion and worry on his face, and your poor little mind starts to panic.

"Uhh...nothing! Nothing at all. Good chat. Bye."

You pop open the door, struggling to scramble out of the car so you could run away from this conversation. You didn't have his number and you don't remember telling him your last name, so if you got away now you're pretty sure he wouldn't be able to track you down on social media later.

Your flared anxiety had given you a serious case of tunnel vision, and if your mind wasn't racing a mile a minute, you would have realized that the reason you struggled to get out of the vehicle was because your seatbelt was still on.

The car door opens up all the way and you look up to see Erik standing in front of you, a tired but uncomplaining expression on his face. You didn't even know he'd gotten out of the car.

He reaches over you to un-click your seatbelt, and after you work your way out of it he extends that same hand, waiting for you to take it.

"C'mon," he whispers to you softly, and you place your hand in his, stepping out of the car.

Instead of walking you up the driveway to the front door like you were expecting, he pulls you over to the sidewalk, linking his fingers with yours as you begin walking down the street in the opposite direction of your house.

Summer was coming to a slow close and the warm dewy air felt nice against your exposed skin, appreciative of the sweater knit crop top and shorts you'd chosen for the outing.

His warm hand also felt nice against yours, and even though your body was still vibrating a little with the energy from your anxiety spike, your soft in sync steps against the pavement helped you to focus on the repetition and calm your nerves.

You were about halfway down the block now of the quiet neighborhood, Erik's eyes roaming over the houses on both sides of the street.

You knew that the owners of the house on the corner were elderly and kept to themselves, so when you got to it you pulled Erik to sit down with you on the ledge in front of their raised lawn.

You were fidgeting again, but you were determined to get what you felt off your chest, refusing to chicken out again.

He'd shown a surprising amount of patience and understanding so far. You hoped it lasted just a little while longer.

Once you were seated you dropped his hand, gripping the edge of the ledge as you lifted yourself to scoot back to a comfortable position, looking down at your dangling legs. It was now or never.

Taking a deep breath, you begin.

"I umm... I didn't mean to get so skittish on your like that just then," you angle a thumb back in the direction you came from. "You just caught me off guard is all."

You laugh a little awkwardly, trying to bring some humor and lightheartedness back into the conversation like how it'd been earlier in the night.

"It's okay," he laughs lightly with you. "I did just kind of spring it on your out of nowhere, my bad."

His attention was towards the ground too, focused on one of the cracks in the sidewalk his large foot was repeatedly covering and uncovering. You were grateful his eyes weren't on you. His engaged state could get a little intense for you sometimes.

"It's cool," you breathe out, feeling a lot more relaxed now that he didn't seemed freaked out by your earlier weirdness.

"I haven't been nervous like this since, like, high school, if you can believe it." You sneak a glance up at him and see the bottom lip he was biting being pulled free by the cute little smile that takes over his face.

"Yeah?" He lifts his head up, those engaged eyes of his locking with yours, and suddenly it doesn't seem so intense anymore. "I'm nervous too."

Before you can catch yourself you snort a laugh, your eyes crinkling in the corners as a hearty little giggle follows.

"You're nervous? You? What do you have to be nervous about?!" You give him a kind of bewildered look, not even believing for a second that this gorgeous man in front of you had butterflies fluttering around in his stomach.

"Yes I'm nervous," he chuckles matter-of-factly, his ears getting a little red with their increased temperature. His next words are so low you're not really sure if you hear them correctly.

"I'm sitting in front of some strangers house talking to the super cute girl I've been trying to flirt with all night. Who still, by the way, hasn't answered my question from earlier. So, yeah, I think I'm allowed to be a little bit nervous. Don't you?"

You're stuck again, face wiped clean of all traces of humor and teasing while his words penetrate your mind, and you feel a little prick at the corners of your cheeks as you blush.

"Oh."

Oh? This man just confessed that he'd been trying to get at you all night and all you can say is oh? If you could slap yourself right now you would, except you're still frozen in place, nothing but the dopey little smile sitting on your lips.

Taking a moment, you try, and fail, to morph your face back into a neutral expression, but when you realize you're unable to you try your luck at words instead.

"You know, I feel as though I should warn you. I've never actually been on a date before." Your heart skips a beat at your own confession, but for once it's not in anxiety. It's in excitement.

It's his turn now to look bewildered, which he exaggerates a little by mockingly holding a hand up to his chest.

"Wait. Hold up. You've never been on a date before? Like, at all?" His eyebrows are damn near on his forehead, and you giggle, amused by his reaction.

"No, I haven't."

He fixes you with a curious look, his head tilted to the side like a puppy.

"Can I ask why?"

You chew at your lip, mulling it over in your mind while you genuinely take a moment to think about your answer.

Normally whenever people found out that you'd never been in a relationship or had sex before, you always felt judged and pressured, like you were nothing more than just some uptight prude. 

So you'd always lie and say you were saving yourself for marriage, finding that people seemed to respect your persecution for religious virtue more than they did your need to take things slow.

But when Erik asked, you didn't feel any of that.

"I guess I just haven't found anyone worth dating yet." You shrugged, and when your eyes drifted back up to his, he smiled, looking at you like he knew exactly how you felt.

"Well, I hope that you find them one day."

You drop your eyes back down to your legs again and slide your hand over on the rough brick ledge, linking your pinky with his and giving it a light squeeze.

"Yeah, me too."

You don't see it, but you can hear him sniff a little laugh besides you, making you grin hard enough to bite the inside of your cheek for a little relief, and you feel him give your finger a squeeze back.

Minutes that feel like hours stretch on underneath the starry moonlit sky, and you share nothing else but silence and understanding between the two of you as you sit and enjoy the moment together.

The headlights of a small sedan flood the pavement with its bright lights as it turns the corner onto your street, washing over the both of you.

You hop down off the ledge, brushing yourself off and turning to him.

"We should probably keep going before it gets too late," you say, remembering the tons of errands you had to run tomorrow for your grandma and the basketball game Erik mentioned earlier he had to go to.

Rounding the block, you look at more houses together and talk about the neighborhoods you grew up in, your pinkies finding themselves wrapped around each other again along the way.

"Wowww, an Oakland boy all the way down here in L.A. So how do you like it compared to the Bay?" You'd been to Oakland a few times in your childhood (well, Concord more specifically), and although you were young, you'd immediately noticed that the entire vibe of the NorCal area seemed far more laid back and relaxed than the constant on-the-go lifestyle you'd grown accustomed to in your own jam packed city. You wondered if he liked the transition.

"Well, I actually had just started high school by the time I moved, and the first thing I noticed when I got here..." His voice trails off a little at the end, and you raise your eyebrows in anticipation at him, prompting him to finish.

"...well, y'all conceited as fuck."

You laugh loudly at the admission, covering your mouth after remembering you were outside, and he joins in your laughter. You certainly couldn't disagree with that statement. It was definitely one of the many things you'd disliked growing up in the popular city, and it seemed like no matter where you went you couldn't get away from hearing at least something about Los Angeles.

In your city's defense, even though a lot of the natives couldn't seem to stop thinking the world revolved around them, endless amounts of media outlets, pop culture, and global communities couldn't seem to stop talking about L.A. either. It was a double edged sword no matter what.

"I'll totally give you that one. But let's not also act as if Bay Area niggas aren't super snobby either. Y'all stay on y'all weird hipster grind and corny ass fashion," you poke fun at him, mostly being sarcastic. Considering your own city always tried to reinvent fashion every other week, you really had no room to talk.

"Hey hey, my ass know how to dress, okay," he puts his hands up still chuckling. "Don't be grouping me in with them other niggas,"

You step out in front of him, obnoxiously observing his fit to look for any flaws. Putting a hand to your chin you give a low hum, nodding in concession as you take note of his plain white tee, black bomber jacket and denim washed jeans with his OG Air Force Ones, cuban link gold chain still hanging effortlessly around his neck.

You speak before your mouth has a chance to water, not wanting to stare at his fine form longer than necessary.

"Yeah, I guess you fly or whateva," you shrug off, snickering as he playfully pushes you aside.

"Yeah, and I guess you not conceited or whateva either," he comments, and you purse your lips, raising a brow.

"Iono, I wouldn't speak so soon." You joke, and out of the corner of your eye you can see him smirk.

"Guess I'll just have to find out for myself then."

The both of you come to a stop in front of your house, finally having made it around the block. He tries to make a move to walk you to the front door, but you stop him.

"It's OK, right here is cool. My parents installed cameras around the house and I know for a fact they nosy asses be looking." You smile, shaking your head, and he kisses his teeth at you.

"Wassup? You embarrassed of ya boy or sum?" He teases you, flashing that radiant smile of his that lets you see his fronts, and you roll your eyes hard to keep yourself from swooning right then and there.

"Whatever, Stevens. Are you gonna wish me a good night so I can go or what?" You cross your arms and your legs with one foot over the other, keenly aware of that anxious feeling coming back over you making you want to roll yourself into a tight ball.

Right as he opens his mouth to say something his phone buzzes in his pocket, making him breathe a small sigh as he reaches in to grab it. Your phone buzzes in your purse too, and you slide it off your shoulder to fish it out.

You swipe the device open, being immediately directed to the new message. At the top you see that it's a new chat created by Rashad, sent to a bunch of unsaved numbers you don't know and yourself.

'Hey guys! Thanks for the fun night. I think a few of us wanted to go check out a movie tomorrow night too. Who's down??'

"Looks like we've been invited out again," Erik comments.

"Yeah, it does," you respond, eyes scanning the end of the message for details.

"You in?"

You look up from your phone, making eye contact again with those warm brown eyes of his, and smile.

"Consider it a date."

Biting his lip, he looks down at the ground, trying to hide the shy smile that tries to make an appearance.

"Aight, coo,"

He grabs your wrist and walks you over to the steps leading up to your front door, dropping it as he moves to stand in front of you. You step up another level, making yourself tall enough to be almost eye level with him.

"Pick you up tomorrow at six?" He asks you, and you nod your head yes, not trusting your voice enough to speak.

He smiles again, this time not looking away, and his eyes fall over your face, landing on your lips.

Putting a finger under your chin, he lifts your face up a little, bending down to get closer to you. He swipes a thumb over your bottom lip before sucking his own into his mouth, and his eyes flick up to yours. Lifting his eyebrows with a twitch, he wordlessly asks for your permission, and you swallow, nodding your head again.

Cupping your face, he closes his eyes and brings his lips to yours, pressing them together gently for a sweet soft kiss. You breath in deeply, your hand reaching out to steady yourself against his chest, your body feeling light and swaying a little.

After a blissful moment, he breaks the kiss, giving your bottom lip a slight nip before pulling away completely.

"See you then." He whispers. "Have a good night baby girl."

He watches as you speechlessly gather yourself together long enough to adorably wave him an awkward goodbye, take yourself up the steps, and key yourself into your house, giving him one last lingering look.

As you cross the threshold of the front door, you close it behind you, leaning against it as you hear the Ford Bronco come to life outside.

To the sound of the rugged truck driving away, you press your face to your palms and let out a squeal of excitement against the sleeves of your sweater, with a smile so wide your face starts to ache.


	2. Kissing Strangers

**  
Anonymous** asked:

**HC/ y/n is mad at Erik cause he did something dumb and he's trying to make it up to her "kiss me like you mean it"**

You sigh, crossing your arms as you lazily trail out in front of the rest of the group, feet moving slowly as you put one foot in front of the other and attempt to walk in a straight line, if for no other purpose than for your own personal enjoyment. You were pretty through with the night, but you didn't want to rush along anyone and risk dampening the fun mood, so you tried occupying yourself as best you could to keep from sending out the wrong vibrations.

You feel the presence come up next to you before it makes itself known, but you ignore it, choosing to feign ignorance instead of acknowledging it with your usual situational awareness.

The presence lingers for a moment, waiting for you to notice it, but when you don't it inches a little closer, nudging its shoulder against yours with a light tap, the spot where it touches you feeling tingly.

"So, how'd you like the movie?" He asks you, and you glance up at him, seeing his eyes lit up and full of interest.

"It was ok." You answer flatly, shrugging your shoulders, and those eyebrows of his hike up, not expecting your nonchalance.

"Oh."

It was an honest answer. The movie _was_ just OK. Even though it wasn't just the _movie_ you were expecting more out of tonight.

You divert your attention back down to your feet, indulging again in your own little game of 'Walk the Plank'. The presence next to you grows quiet again, and you know he's observing you, trying to figure out what's going through that head of yours.

It doesn't phase you, already knowing that whatever emotions you had you didn't wear them on your face.

Luckily, you were hard to read like that.

This was the second time-*Correction*, the _third_ time that the both of you had hung out this week with your friends, and you were starting to get the feeling that maybe there was something happening between the two of you. At least, that's what you _thought_... up until tonight.

"Everything okay?"

You can hear the hint of worry hiding somewhere behind his words, and part of you wants to just drop it and chalk your mood up to being tired or something.

You nod your head, shrugging your shoulders again, eyes focused somewhere on the floor.

**_Don't be petty. Don't be petty. Don't be petty._ **

You lift your head and look him in the eyes, smiling.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He returns the smile, visibly relaxing now, diverting his own eyes to the floor now as he chews on his lip.

You quirk an eyebrow, watching him, and open up your mouth again.

"So where's your friend at?"

**_Fuck._ **

The sound that comes out of his mouth is something between a choke and a snort, and he brings a fist up to his mouth to clear his throat before looking back your way.

The smile is still plastered on your face, but not an evil one, just...friendly. _Weirdly_ friendly.

You can see his eyes squint a little as he quickly studies your face, trying to figure you out, but there's nothing to see except what _appears_ to be your innocent smile.

"You, you mean _Clarissa_?" His voice almost cracks at the end as he points a thumb back in the direction of your friend group, referring to it's newest blonde member, but you don't even bother to look.

You know who she is.

"Oh? Is that her name?" The charade you're putting on sounds so real you almost believe it yourself for a second, and you have to drag your attention back to the conversation at hand to keep from verbally patting yourself on the back.

"Clarissa?" You repeat (for _clarification_ , of course), and the name sounds harsh and abrasive in your mouth, but that doesn't keep you from saying it with _perfect pronunciation_.

"Yeah, yeah no she's back there chillin, I guess." It's his turn to shrug now, and he almost acts as if he didn't spend the entire movie sitting right next to her. _While you were all the way on the other side._

Out of the group, you and Erik were the only single people, and while you usually hated it when your friends' boyfriends tried to set you up, you liked Erik.  
He'd just happened to be back in town the same week his boy had made plans, so it wasn't like he was there for _you_.  
He was just... there too.  
But you'd clicked instantly.The whole night you and Erik had been hanging together, picking right up where you'd left off from the other night.  
Then Clarissa showed up.

Your voice keeps its same curious tone, and you press on. Not to make him uncomfortable or anything, but just to... _understand_ better. After all, it's not like the two of you were dating or anything, you were _just friends_.

Friends were allowed to be curious, right?

Maybe the feeling you thought you had between the two of you was wrong.

"Oh, OK." You say, and silence falls between the two of you again for a moment as you reach the double door exit of the movie theater. He opens the right side, holding it for you, and you brush past his chest a little as you walk out.

You can feel the solid muscle resting underneath his sweatshirt and smell the scent of his body wash, and before you can let yourself get distracted by it you accidentally blurt out your next sentence more aggressively than you wanted to.

"Umm, you can go hang out with her if you want, you know. You don't have to be up here with me." You word vomit, and you squeeze your eyes shut, mentally face palming.

**_So much for trying to be subtle._ **

"What?" He walks out behind you, letting the doors shut, but you don't stop walking, not wanting to have to look him in the face.

Your feet unwittingly stop in their tracks after a few steps and you blow out a sigh, your body betraying your urge to flee. "I mean..."

You scratch at the back of your head, gathering up all your courage to deal with the dumbass situation you've just put yourself in.

"...don't feel obligated to be up here with me. If you wanna go be with her that's okay-"

"Be with her? Who said I wanted to be with her?" He interrupts you, and you open your eyes to see he's standing in front of you now, eyebrows scrunched in confusion and what looks like frustration.

 _Shit._ You _so_ didn't mean for it to go this way.

"Nobody! I'm just, I'm just _saying_ that if you _wanted_ to you could-"

"Y/n." He stops you again, but this time when you look up at him his face is oddly calm, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth barely hidden by his bottom lip tucked between his teeth.

You don't say anything at first, but when he raises his eyebrows at you as if to repeat himself, a small ' _yeah'_ escapes your lips.

"...Are you ...jealous?" You can hear the teasing lilt in his voice, and your face deadpans, your feet working again as you stomp past him.

 ** _Jealous?_** _You?_ _Please._ You'd sooner watch the original 'Birth of a Nation' than ever let anything that girl says or does intimidate you. You knew your self worth, and you'd rather die alone than let any man think you'd waste your time competing for his attention.

You can hear his boisterous laughter behind you, and you quicken your pace, but you don't get very far before you feel his arm wrap around your waist and pull you back, feeling the deep rumbling emanating from his chest.

"Alright alright ma, damn, I was just joking. Where you think you going anyway? We all drove together." He wraps his other arm around you to keep you in place, emphasizing his words.

"I got Lyft, I'm good." You sniff back, and he kisses his teeth, dragging you both backwards until the back of his knees hit the edge of one of the patio tables, and he lifts the both of you onto it to sit, you on his lap.

You sit there stubbornly for a few moments, and when he realizes you're not going to speak he rolls his eyes, breaking the silence.

"So you gon tell me wassup, or what? Why you acting like this, babygirl?" His voice is soft but stern, and you stir a little in his arms at the pet name.

"I'm not acting like anything," you try and disagree, but your words sound distant and clouded in your ears, losing some of their bite.

He sighs patiently behind you, leaning forward to tighten his arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder.

You can feel him looking at you, and you turn your head away, staring through a hole in the grated table to the ground.

"... I'm trying, okay? Just... give me a second." Your voice is just above a whisper, but he still hears what you say.

"I know," he presses a kiss into your shoulder through you sweater, and he lays his head there. "Take your time."

You take a few beats to gather your thoughts, mulling them over in your mind a few times to make sure you'll be able to say it right.

When you're finally ready, you turn around a little to sit sideways in his lap, still facing away from him as you rest your head on his chest.

Taking a deep breath, you finally let it all out.

"Look...all I'm saying is if you're interested in other people, that's okay. It's not like we're together or anything, all we did was share one kiss. You're free to do whatever you want and so am I, there's no commitment here."

A dry laugh that comes out as a sniff blows out through your nose, those shoulders of yours shrugging again as you try and crack a joke.

"It's not like you live in California."

Your last sentence hangs in the air for a bit, and when Erik doesn't say anything, your heart starts skipping beats.

 _Shit,_ was he offended? You didn't mean to offend him. All you were trying to do was be honest... _and_ _keep your heart safe._

"Erik?" You wait a second for his response, but when it doesn't come you turn your head to look at him.

His eyes are downcast, and a small smile plays on his lips.

"Do you think I just go around kissing strangers, Y/N?"

The question catches you off guard, and when he lifts his head to look at you, you don't know what to say.

"Do I seem like the type of person who would kiss random people just for the hell of it?"

Well, it didn't seem like he was the type.

"...no."

"Then why would I kiss _you_ and go be interested in someone else? You **are** the person I'm interested in, Y/N. It's you."

You want to say something back to him, but when you open your mouth, an emotion you can't place starts creeping up your throat, paralyzing you.

"Listen... that... ' _thing'_ at the movies... trust me, ya boy not interested. I was trying to get back over to you but ol' girl couldn't take a hint. Figured I'd just be polite and let her sit next to me during the movie. It's not like it's her I'll be calling anyway when I get back home tonight."

He flashes that knee weakening smile at you, his golds peeking out, and you roll your eyes, pushing at his chest.

"So what you tryna say? You got hoes now?" You joke, and he fake groans in annoyance before grabbing you up in a gentle headlock, pressing kisses to your temple as you squeal and struggle.

"You so annoying, I swear," he grumbles, and after you calm down he releases you and cups your chin in his fingers, angling your face towards his.

"Gimme kiss," he mumbles, and you lean up a little, pressing your lips flat against his for a soft lazy smooch.

"Mmmm," he moans against your lips ."Mm Mm." He detaches from you.

"Nah," his full lips poke out in a pout. " **Kiss me like you mean it."**

Blushing, you smooth your hand against the back of his head and pull him into you, lips parting to accept his full, juicy ones between yours, both your tongues poking out to taste each other.

He sighs in contentment into your mouth, and his hands latch onto your soft waist as he takes over the kiss, letting his tongue roll against yours.

Leaning into him you wrap your arms around his neck, breaking the rough kiss to give him gentle teasing pecks that make him whine from the back of his throat.

"Fuck, you're making me miss you already," He whispers into your skin, nudging his face down into the crook of your neck and taking a huge inhale.

It sends sparks across your skin, and when he groans hungrily at your scent you can feel the vibration in your whole body, making you clench in different places.

You both get lost in euphoria until a loud voice from a ways away grabs your attention.

"Uhh... y'all ready to go?" You rise out of your blissed state as you pull away from Erik, looking around dazedly to find the source.

You spot Rashad, Erik's friend, looking curiously at you two from his spot across the patio, and the rest of your group behind him snickering childishly, including Clarissa.

"Yeah bro we comin!" Erik yells back, all his attention still on you.

"Well meet you there," he mutters, not really caring if his friend heard or not, and he buries his face into your neck, growling and fake munching on your skin as your laughter fills the air.


	3. Communication

"...You know I still don't see what the problem is, Y/N."

You throw your head back, silently groaning to keep your friend on the other side of the line from hearing you.

You knew you should have called Simone instead.

"Um, hello??? Did you forget you had me on speaker phone, bitch? Don't be grumbling under your breath at me goddammit, you know I'm right! And don't you dare call Simone ass either after we hang up. I love her, but she'll have you overthinking and seeing problems that aren't really there. You know how them Scorpios be."

You mumble a defeated 'fine, OK' at her and grab your phone, relocating yourself over to your vanity table to continue your conversation while you do your hair.

Reaching up, you tug the t-shirt wrapped around your head free as your damp curls fall over your face, turning around to drape the wet shirt over the back of your chair.

Tying the front of your hair up in a bun, you grab your spray bottle and one of your brushes and start to spray and detangle your hair, the leftover conditioner in it from the shower helping to make the process easier.

As you gently smooth your brush through your curls and fall into your hair routine, you start to ponder on your current predicament, allowing your friends wise words to penetrate your mind.

Maybe you were overthinking it.

"Don't get silent on me now, Y/N. Tell me what's on your mind."

You take a deep breath, trying to filter your thoughts and make some sense of them.

"I don't know, Kay. I don't really know how to explain it. I just feel like he's not...interested." You shrug your shoulders even though you know she can't see it, not really knowing any other way to explain yourself.

"Okay. And what makes you say that?"

You inhale, taking a small scoop of leave-in conditioner and working it through a section of hair while you think.

"I dunno. I feel like when we do talk, its great, and there's a connection there. But sometimes there's these long periods of absence with no communication, and when that happens I feel like I'm always the last one whose reached out, you know?"

Raking your fingers through your curls one last time, you watch your coils shrink up in the mirror, the tights spirals coming to life after their first layer of moisture.

Unclipping another section in the back, you scoop some more product into your hands, repeating the process.

"Okay, I can feel where you're coming from. But let me ask you this: what do you mean by long periods of absence?"

Your hands pause in your hair, and you bite your lip, knowing your next words are gonna make you sound like a complete dumbass.

"Uhh..."

"Yeah?" Kay prompts you to continue.

"Umm.. like... two or three days... sometimes?" Your voice gets really small and high pitched at the end, knowing you were being a little ridiculous.

"...Girl."

You add some additional info, hoping maybe it will help your case.

"Sometimes it'll even be a whole week tho, too!"

"Y/N."

"...yes, Kay."

"You know Erik is in the military, right?"

You roll your eyes, annoyed at the reminder of a fact you knew and thought about often yourself, especially when it came to this issue.

"Yes, I know that Kay."

"Okay, then you also know that he probably has a lot on his plate and he's most likely constantly busy all the time."

You kiss your teeth, absentmindedly running your fingers through your hair again, more-so in a frustratedly-busy way than in a hair-care way.

"Yes Kay, I know that. But come on now. Let's not act like people aren't constantly on their phones all the time nowadays. Not to push the tiresome 'millennial narrative', but who goes days without checking their phone anymore? It's not like that nigga is out fighting a war, he's doing combat training."

You can hear the undertone of complaint and whining in your voice, and you absolutely hated it. Here you were, a Communications major and Black Women's Studies minor, and you were getting bothered some dude you kissed once, (okay, twice) wasn't talking to you enough.

You had yourself fucked up.

You hear chuckling on the other end of the phone and your internal rage subdues itself for a moment, irritation taking its place.

"Damn, Y/N. You must really like this guy."

You cross your arms, slouching down in your chair while you pout, having too much pride to grace her with a response. She continues, already knowing the look on your face.

"In all the years I've known you, I've never seen you get so worked up over someone. He must really be something special."

You grab your phone, holding it to your face and practically yelling into it.

"HELLO!! Did you not just hear what I said? I just told you this nigga is borderline ignoring me and you just called him 'special'!"

More laughter takes over on her end again and you toss your phone back on the table, finishing your section and unclipping the last one in the back, muttering under your breath about Erik being a special piece of shit.

Once Kay finally recovers from your mini tirade, she speaks once again, full of a wisdom and knowledge you knew your stubborn ass needed to hear, even if you didn't want to at the moment.

"He's not ignoring you Y/N, and you know that. The only reason you feel like this is because you have strong feelings and you're not sure if they're being reciprocated or not, and the long distance certainly doesn't help. Have you told him how you've been feeling?"

You sit there and delay a moment, nestling a little more into your stubbornness because of the fact that her words just punched a hole right into the wall of insecurity you'd been maintaining over the years.

She waits for your response, already knowing the answer.

"....No."

Her voice softens. "Okay, but how do you expect for him to know how you're feeling if you don't tell him? You're letting yourself overthink and go through all of these emotions by yourself, meanwhile he's half a world away thinking that everything is fine. If you don't clue him in to what it is you're going through, he won't be able to help."

Finishing with the bottom half of your hair, you wipe your hands off on the damp t-shirt and unwrap the rest of the hair on the top of your head. You frown at her last statement, not liking the way it made you feel.

"I don't know if he should even have to help me with any of this though, Kay. I mean, these are my issues. I'm the one whose clearly having trouble with this, it's not fair for me to ask him to help me figure my shit out."

She makes a hum of acknowledgement while you continue expressing yourself.

"I mean, how would I feel if some dude came to me with a mountain full of problems expecting me to fix them? I'd fucking laugh in his face and walk away. I can't ask that of him." The more you thought about it, the more you realized that you had a lot of unresolved issues you were still healing from. What kind of person would you be if you involved yourself with someone else, knowing that?

"Okay. I can see where you would think that, but you're thinking about it in the wrong way. You think that if you open up to him and tell him what you're feeling, that it's the same as asking him to fix your problems. But you're not like that, Y/N. In fact, you've never been like that."

You think a moment about what it is she's saying, trying to decide whether or not you agree.

"I mean, think about it, Y/N. When have you ever asked someone for help? I mean genuinely stopped and reached out to someone else, or even told them when you're having trouble with something? You don't, hun. You've always dug your heels into the dirt and rolled up your sleeves to get it done by yourself because you don't trust that someone else can really be there for you the way you need them to be. No matter how many people you have in your corner ready to fight for you."

You think about all the lectures and scoldings you'd gotten from friends and family over the years because of the times you'd soldiered at something alone rather than take the help that was offered to you. You'd felt that if you always needed someone else to help you get through something, then what did that say about your own strength and ability to take care of yourself? You'd rather die struggling than ever give someone else the power to say that you wouldn't be anything without them.

"Look, Y/N/N. I know this is really hard. And I know this is something you don't like to talk about, but if you like this guy as much as I think you do, you're gonna have to learn how to let go and trust that you and Erik are building a relationship where you can truly depend on each other. That includes communicating your feelings even when you're not sure how the other person will receive them.

It's gonna be scary as hell, I won't lie. But you gotta know deep down inside that love can't exist in the same place that doubt lives. You gotta trust the process."

You'd stopped doing your hair completely now, sitting back and twirling a finger around one of your strands while Kay talked.

It wasn't like you didn't understand exactly what she was saying. Kay definitely had the bulk of experience between the two of you when it came to romantic relationships, and the thing you'd come to really admire about her throughout the years of your friendship was her ability to always put herself back out there once again with an open heart and mind, no matter how badly the last relationship may have ended.

Your own inability to deal with your emotional vulnerability was something you were far too aware of, and you'd seen it affect your personal relationships time and time again, your current situation with Erik just being the most recent example.

It was rare for you to catch feelings for someone, and to be honest, the fact that you and Erik had made it this far into whatever it was you guys were doing had you shaken to your core. Every moment and interaction with him was completely new for you, and your uncertainty with navigating this new 'thing' was starting to show with your recent anxieties about the situation.

You really wanted to believe that Erik was feeling you, because it was too late to deny your feelings for him. But there was a tiny little voice in the back of your head always saying something to keep you guessing, making you doubt whether or not what the both of you had was even real.

It was time for you to make a decision.

"Y/N? Y/N? You still there?"

You blink yourself back to the present, clearing your throat and picking up the phone, taking it off speaker phone and holding it to your ear.

"Yeah, I'm still hear, Kay."

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Yeah." Your voice sounds far away, still deep in thought as you reflect on the mental hurdles your mind was trying to overcome so you could figure out how to move past the fear holding your heart hostage.

"Well okay, girl. I don't want to hold you up, but I want you to think about what I said some more, OK?"

You chuckle a little, nodding your head as you answer your friend.

"Okay, Kay. I will. I promise." You add on the last two words, knowing that if you said them, she would believe you. You always kept your promises.

"Good. I expect a full report tomorrow morning when I call you before work!" She laughs too, halfway serious. "...And Y/N?"

"Yeah, Kay?"

You can hear her quiet back down a little, the soft tenderness of her voice seeping back into her words once more as she spoke.

"Do me a favor please and try to call him, okay? Just, try and talk to him, at least once. That way when you hear his voice and listen to what he says, you'll know whether or not what you feel is real."

Your breath gets heavy and your heart skips a beat, almost feeling it in your throat. Call him? You hadn't thought of that. Come to think of it, you'd never called him.

Other than the last time you saw him in person, pretty much all your communication had been through text except for the occasional video message.

"Can you do that, Y/N?" Your best friends compassionate voice speaks in your ear, and you swallow thickly, nodding your head.

"Yeah, I can do that I think."

"You ?"

Damn. Should've never said that shit.

You roll your eyes, stifling a deep breath. "Yeah yeah, I promise."

"Good!" You can practically feel her cheesy ass grin through the phone, already knowing it was plastered on her face triumphantly from giving you the challenge.

"Love youuu," she sings out over the phone, and you kiss your teeth, groaning.

"Love your annoying ass too. Now get off my phone, wasting all my damn minutes."

"Bitch, now you know damn well you ain't got no one else to talk to to be kicking me off like this."

"GOOD-BYE KAY."

After a few more rounds of back and forth and finally hanging up (but not before agreeing to call her back in the morning with allll the details), you walk over to your nightstand and plug your phone in, returning to the vanity to finish your hair.

After slathering your strands in a second coat of and deciding against using a this week, you glance at the clock, noting that the night was still young and you had time to cook and clean the kitchen like you'd planned. Tying your hair up in a high pineapple, you slip on some fuzzy socks and head to the kitchen, stomach grumbling hungrily.

~~~

A couple hours later you plop down onto your bed, completely exhausted and ready to relax. Pulling your bowl of shrimp scampi over to you, you spike a shrimp with your fork, popping it into your mouth while you flip through the channels to find something to watch.

Your eyes glance down to the time on the cable box, seeing that it was only about 7:30.

It should be about 10:30 where Erik is, now.

The thought had crossed your mind before you could even stop it, and you close your eyes, willing yourself to get control over your thoughts.

You promised Kay you would call him.

Goddammit. You slam the remote down on the bed, it making a soft thud against the comforter, and you sit up, placing your bowl onto your nightstand and picking up your phone, unplugging it.

You twirl it around in your hand a few times, trying one last time to try and find a way to talk yourself out of it.

But of course, the one time you actually want the nagging little voice in the back of your mind to say something, she's as quiet as a mouse.

Before you can second guess it, you quickly open your phone and tap the screen until you reach Erik's contact, finger hovering over the call button.

It's time to make a decision, Y/N.

Fuck it.

Taking a deep breath, you press the phone icon, pressing the phone to your ear as you wait for the call to connect.

When it starts to ring, you tense a little, bringing your knees to your chest as you wrap your arm around them, feeling your nerves start to creep up on you.

By the third ring, you wonder if maybe you caught him at a bad time, remembering what he'd said to you once about having a strict bed ti-

"Hello?"

You pause, your mouth agape as your eyes widen, your words getting stuck in your throat.

"Y/N? Are you there?"

You open and close your mouth, not sure what to say.

"Babygirl?"

You finally get the breath back in your lungs, and you speak.

"Yeah, yeah I'm here. Sorry, I just, I didn't know what to say. I...I've never called you before." You give a weak chuckle, your fingers winding themselves tightly around the hem of your shirt.

"I know. Is everything okay? Are you okay?" You can hear the worry in his voice, and you could kick yourself for accidentally making him panic like this.

"Yeah I'm okay, Erik. I'm okay."

"Okay, good." You hear his voice calm a little, followed by a whoosh of breath. "What's up then, baby?"

You feel your insides warm at the pet name, your cheeks twitching at the corners into a small smile.

"Nothing, I um..."

You fist your free hand into a loose fist, twiddling your fingers against one another as you struggle to get the words out.

Just say it.

Closing your eyes, you try again, clearing your throat.

"I uh... I miss you."

~~~~~

Three thousand miles away at the Natick, MA US Navy Department, Erik stands outside the Naval Operations building, the rough sound of two M1161 Growlers noisily passing by in the background.

It had been a tough week, much like the past four that he'd been struggling to get through without losing a part of himself in some way. He knew you always went to bed early for work, so he'd been putting off talking to you for another few days until he had time that he could set aside and devote to just you.

But here you were, on his line, calling him out of the blue. And the sound of your voice was the sweetest thing he'd heard all deployment.

His cheeks ache at your confession, much like his heart, and he bites his lip to keep from smiling like a lovestruck teen.

"I miss you too, babygirl. More than you even know."


	4. In The Cut (Side Story)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small idea I had that I thought might fit in the K.S. Universe. This doesn't come until much later though.

**Anonymous** said:

**"Bruh I can imagine Erik saying "Like you mean it" in that tinder voice, and staring at you with his pretty brown eyes😭😭**

Shivers run down your back as he traces along your spine with a finger, sliding delicately over the bralette you wore and down to the small of your back. He lets the rest of his fingers peek out to crawl around your skin, nails scratching lightly as he feels around the plushy flesh resting there.

Out of habit, you shrink away from his curious exploration, self conscious about the unsightly back rolls, mentally cringing at what he must've thought.

"Let me touch you," he whispers against your lips, his other hand pulling you back to him, large palm gripping your thick waist with security.

Your heart flutters at the gesture, a comforting warmth emanating out from your chest, and down below. As you look down at him with a lip tucked between your teeth, he watches you with half lidded eyes, leaning forward to tug it free and suck the juicy fold into his mouth.

Sighing contentedly, you bring your hands up to either side of his face, closing your eyes and melting into the kiss, returning it with equal fervor. Your tongues dance slowly with one another as you explore each others mouths, nipping and sucking softly until both your lips are red and swollen with desire.

Pulling back with a groan, he surveys your outfit, not for the first time that night. Sucking in a sharp breath, he clicks his tongue with irritation, rolling it around in his mouth.

"Now you knew damn well you was wrong when you walked out the house like this." His eyebrow twitches as he speaks through clenched teeth, the frustration he'd felt the entire evening burning like acid on his tongue. You feel the deep timbre of his voice vibrate through your body, and his eyes flicker to yours, narrowed and concentrated. "Didn't you?"

Inhaling a thick breath of air, you bite your lip to conceal your smirk, nodding innocently as you feel the sexual tension grow between the two of you, along with something else.

"Words."

He doesn't break eye contact, waiting patiently for your verbal response.

Straightening your posture, you push your hands against his lower abdomen, feeling the solid muscles there constrict, giving yourself a layer of protection in case he decided to pounce. "Yes."

He sniffs, nodding his head while his eyes trail down to your spread thighs on either side of his hips, feeling his gaze on your center.

"Yet, you decided to do it anyway. Why?"

You swallow thickly, resisting the urge to clench your thighs together at his aggressive interrogation.

"Because it's cute." You raise a brow, holding your head high with conviction as if the answer was obvious.

Eyeing you dangerously, he reaches forward, wrapping his hand around your throat and squeezing firmly until he feels your pulse race anxiously against his palm. A weak whine manages to slip past your lips, but you cut it short, seeing the threatening look behind his eyes.

"Why?" He asks you again, eyebrows raised expectantly for the correct answer this time.

Licking your lips, you open your mouth, and he gives your throat a warning squeeze, daring you to lie to him again before loosening his grip.

"Because I knew it would get to you." Your words are breathy, heart skipping a beat at your foolish confession.

He leans forward, a smile curling its way onto his lips as he drops the hand around your neck to trace the lines of your collar bone, following it with his eyes.

He places a kiss to your shoulder.

"Do you like teasing me, Miss Y/L/N?"

He places another kiss right above it, your skin growing increasingly sensitive with each touch.

With your words caught in your throat, you move to shake your head, but a sharp smack to your ass makes you gasp, stopping you in your tracks.

You glance down to find those same insidious eyes watching you again, eager for another mistake as he continues lacing kisses up the side of your neck.

Clearing your throat, you find your voice again, speaking with a shaky breath. "No."

"Hm?" You can feel his soft breath tickling your skin, and the hairs on the back of your neck stand at attention from the close proximity. He was torturing you now.

Closing your eyes, you try again, this time with more certainty.

"No."

With his lips pressed to the shell of your ear, he whispers into it, his icy tone sending a chill down your back.

"Wrong answer."

The air feels as though it thins around you, your breaths becoming shallow as you wait with trepidation for whatever was about to come.

You chance a peek at him, eyes wide and silently pleading for him to have mercy on you, to give you one more chance to get it right.

Bringing his face up to yours, he stops a hair's breadth away from you, your nose tickling from the closeness, and you feel your stomach sink as you watch his sweet brown eyes turn cold.

You feel a popped tug at your pants and the zipper on your jeans being pulled down as the cool air in the car begins to touch your lower half.

"Take these off."

Grabbing your bottom with a handful of meatiness in each hand, he lifts you up, placing you off to the side onto the seat next to him. Scooting himself towards the door, he rests back cooly with one leg bent at the knee on the seat, the other on the floor. His left arm lays behind the headrest, the other in his lap, fingers twitching around the aching mass between his legs.

With the small distance between you, you feel as though you're center stage, and the intrigued look on his face as his eyes rake over you let you know that he's ready for the show.

You take in a deep breath, chest filling with nervous butterflies that flutter away as you exhale through your nostrils. Hooking both thumbs into the rim of your pants at your waist, you slowly push them down off your tummy, stopping to instinctively pull your underwear back up over the soft pudge.

"Don't." His deep voice stalls you in your movements, and you release your tug on your panties, the thin material snapping back against your skin.

Looking into your eyes, with a small nod he silently commands you to keep going, and you continue pushing the material down, pausing to lift yourself as you work it up and over your hips. As more of your chocolate brown skin is revealed, he licks his lips, swallowing down the collection of saliva that pooled in his mouth at the sight of you.

You keep your legs together as you finish shoving your jeans down the rest of the way, bending your knees and tucking each of your feet back as they're freed to cover the view of your crotch.

Balling up the dark denim, you toss it over into the trunk of the car, straightening your legs out on the seat to their full length, your chubby socked feet stopping just before his crotch.

Running his thumb up the side of your sole, he takes one foot in his hand, slowly peeling the thin silk from around your ankle, revealing your cute black pedicured toes as he pulls it off. He does the same with the other foot, folding the socks into one another before tossing them over his shoulder to join your jeans in the back.

Rolling his thumbs into the sole of your right foot, he massages the soft skin, the tickling feeling making you arch and squirm in your spot. You can feel the wetness in between your legs grow with each firm knead, and when he presses the nail of his thumb into the base of your heel and draw up, your body shudders at the sensation, closing your eyes to keep him from seeing them roll into the back of your head.

Chuckling at your reaction, he brings your foot up to his mouth to softly kiss the pad of your big toe, working his way down the line of appendages as he holds them against his lips. His tongue snakes out to suck on your pinky toe, but you snatch your foot back before he can make contact, a devilish snicker filtering out from him as a full blown grin spreads his lips, touching the corners of his eyes.

You pull both your legs back and wrap your arms around your knees protectively, too distracted by the irritatingly beautiful smile painted on his face to roll your eyes at him like you wanted to.

"Where you think you going? Get back over here,"

He chews his lip as he glances down at your shielded legs, beckoning you back over to him with a hooked index finger.

When you refuse to move, his smile fades, face morphing back into the dark demonic look that you were becoming accustomed to seeing.

He stares you down with a testing look, but you don't budge an inch. If he wanted you, he was gonna have to come get you.

Slowly leaning forward into a menacing crouch, he balances the weight of his upper body on the palms of his hands, beginning a steady crawl towards you. The muscles in his back undulate with each stride, the rolling of his shoulders reminding you of that of a jaguar on the prowl.

You reach behind you to drag yourself away from his sauntering presence, but your hand hits the door, and your stomach sinks at the realization that there's no where else for you to go.

As he reaches your legs, he wraps one large palm around your calf, gripping it and tugging you towards him forcefully, causing a frightened yelp to escape your lips.

Your back falls flat against the seat, and you see his large frame above you, peering down at you like you're his helpless prey.


End file.
